Lost

We’ve followed the mechanics of death, the corporate paperwork and the guy at the funeral parlour advising us that after cremation we could wash out the urn and put it in the recycling bin. Really? Is that appropriate?

My brother and I did what we had to do, booking the wake. Walking into the club, like stepping back 20 years in time. Possibly 30 – needle skidding on record.

David and I have been pulling together thoughts for a humanist funeral. Dad loved Neil Diamond and country, Johnny Cash etc. So we’ve had to pull back from some of the obvious which admittedly caused some inappropriate laughter. Three songs – the intro will be Song Sung Blues (cause everybody has one), the exit will be Crackling Rosie.

But the mid hymn is the hard one. And we are English. So a very english song, Abide With Me. The Emile Sande version. This:

Abide With Me

(Would have posted vid but WP was being a bitch grrrr).

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3 thoughts on “Lost

  1. Being a fan of both Neil Diamond and Johnny Cash, I think your dad must have been a great guy! And “Abide with Me” is just beautiful. I must say, though, that at the risk of sounding peculiar, I firmly believe that laughter is almost never inappropriate at a funeral or memorial service, unless the deceased never laughed… in which case, few would mourn them, anyway.

    I do have to agree with you, though, in your hesitation about the recycling of cremation urns. That does seem VERY odd! Unless they give you a recycling discount, why should YOU have to do it, they should be the ones to take care of it, as you are paying for it.

  2. The guy at the funeral place was just bizarre, my brother and I are both quiet stoic people and reserved about our emotions in public, so we may have seemed a bit remote when planning things and perhaps this gave him leeway to say things he probably shouldn’t. It really all hit home Saturday night, but today we go back into the mechanical organising side of things.

    And my Dad loved to laugh. People have been sending us anecdotes about him all weekend which have been cracking us up. You’re right, it’s important to remember that about him, and not make the service too sombre. We’re having a wake in the club where he used to work, and I’m hoping it will be a celebration of his life that he would have been proud of, having at one time being the biggest hell raiser in the village!

    • I imagine the wake will indeed be a good one, especially since it’s a club where they all knew him well! I think it’s wonderful that so many people are telling you fun things about your dad, that tells you he was truly loved by others as well as you. I didn’t know my dad very well, and it was so sad to me that I learned more about him at his funeral than I did when he was alive, but at least I did get to hear things he would never have thought to mention to me.

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