It’s been a scary few days. Him Underfoot collapsed on me on Saturday, in a world of unexplained pain. I carted him off to A&E, not always pleasant on a Saturday night in December, where the staff were wonderful, thorough and reassuring. Thankfully he is ok – he’s rather entertaining when stoned on morphine -but when the person that holds your heart becomes so fragile it rips something right out of you. I love the goon. He’s mine. I should be able to help, gods, I felt so useless even down to the fact I can’t drive and finding a taxi on a party night isn’t fun. I was cursing my inability to drive the 3 miles to the hospital. I was also developing a pretty nasty chest infection and I don’t think being out until the small hours helped much, because I’m now having my worst asthma episode for 20 years. I can barely walk from one room to the next and am currently slugging a pailful of steroids. I woke on Monday night thinking there were birds singing in the clematis only to realise that it’s December, it was 2am and that it was actually my chest whistling away.

What breathing feels like (pic: Dave McKean)

What breathing feels like (pic: Dave McKean)

We are both slowly on the mend but I’ve had to cancel 4 events – one of which was a day of charitable work for the Action Foundation I should have been at right now and I feel terrible for letting them down. They were lovely, as they always are, and I hope I can make it up to them in the New Year. I should make their celebratory Christmas lunch next week though, so fingers crossed.

All this has kind of led to any Christmas celebrations or prep being put on hold. I literally haven’t had the energy to even write cards. I’m a bit ambivalent about it all this year, though I am looking forward to being with all my family for a couple of days. It’s a cliche, but time really does feel like sand slipping through my fingers.

The reason I watch Dominion!

The reason I watch Dominion!

I hope my next update will be more cheery and seasonal. I promise seasonal cheer! For now I’m going back to wallowing through multiple episodes of Tivo’d dodgy sci-fi (Dominion, I’m thinking of you, Michael is one hot archangel…!).


10 thoughts on “Wheeze

  1. Oh gosh, what a tough time you both are having. This Christmas is fast come a non happy Christmas for a lot of people. My husband’s aunt has just passed away this morning, and I’ve just heard a neighbour with his young daughter has just lost his wife/ mother. A tough time for all.
    I wish you both a speedy recovery and hope you both have a great time with your family.

  2. I’m SO sorry, how terrible that must have been!! Glad to hear you are both getting better, at least. And I’m sure you’re not letting anyone down by staying home and NOT giving people colds and things; on the contrary, I’m sure they appreciate your staying away. Be good to your selves, and for heaven’s sake, don’t worry about silly things like holiday cards! ::hugs::

    • I’m just glad HU is doing ok, think we both got a hell of a shock. We have agreed that the tree is going up on Saturday come what may, time for some cheer! We are off to our local school to sing carols Sunday, our lovely neighbours kids have organised a charity afternoon for our street which will be lovely 😊

    • Thanks, the family are all up on the 21st onwards, wisely staying in a hotel so it will be good to see them. Christmas dinner is at my house but I have to admit big brother provides all the food and drink and cooks it, I just have the biggest dining room!
      Dominion has some good and some not so good points. Great angels, I want more of them and less of the cardboard humans! I hope you get the chance to see it. Also wallowing in the Originals and season 1of the Musketeers again (Athos and Elijah ohmy!)

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