I’m an introvert. Apparently, an empathic introvert. So says one of these indepth internet studies. Whatever, I am aware I do need a lot of time out and space from humanity, though I generally like it.
I’m now overwhelmed by a tidal wave of guests. Some I am most happy to accommodate – those flying half a world for the funeral next week. They are most welcome to everything we have.
Then I promised my best friend the spare room for 3 nights the week after. That’s super, I need a bit of an emotional hug right now, if not the surfeit of gin sure to follow.
But then, someone else who is family but currently pissing me off royally wants the room at the same time. I love this person, but they are causing huge trouble within the family, and being a complete ass wanting the room then. I can’t trust this person, have to supervise them 24-7. I’m currently not speaking to my blinkered mother because of them. I actually want to slap them, but am currently being fairly restrained. Their own family can’t leave them unsupervised, despite them being an adult who should know better.
I just want the world to piss off right now. I want to hide in my introvert cave. I hate June as it is, I’m always ill with grass pollen and asthma as a result. I don’t want to be the fecking responsible adult who has to talk sense to both the young and the old who are acting like five year olds around me. I hate this sense chip in my head that holds me back from being as badly behaved as the rest of my family. I hate being the sensible one, when all I want to do is hibernate.
I want to mourn a friend in peace. I want to hug my best friend and drink champagne with her the week after, and be in a safe place. I do not want the family drama and expectation that two drama queens’ wishes trumps 38 years of friendship. I want to both celebrate and mourn my Dad’s birthday on the 25th without judgement or comment from sour women.
In short, I am overwhelmed.